One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the…
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings,” he said patriarchily.
“It’s OK,” she said self-preservingly.
“It’s just that my intentions were pure,” he said, backpedalingly, “but I may have accidentally said some things I didn’t mean because of how pure my intentions were.”
“Uh huh,” she said backing awayingly.
“See,” he said dipshittily, “what I meant was something different than what I said and it’s only because of the circumstances of my deep concern for your welfare that I said a thing that was pretty aggressive and heartbreaking. I totally respect women.”
“Totally,” she said, typing a report and dressing…
In the last couple of days, I’ve read two apologies for sexual harassment and assault after the men involved were caught, pretty much literally, with their pants down. These statements came off as hollow and insincere, because they dwelled mostly on the varied and complex reasons that drove their behavior, as well as how super bad they felt about it.
There was little to no mention of the specific victims in these cases, and the devastation it has brought and will continue to bring to their lives.
Since powerful men in various industries will undoubtedly be writing lots of these…
Leading nutritionists and mindfulness experts alike will tell you: you’re eating too fast. We multi-task at everything, including mealtime. You eat while you watch TV or read. You’re checking Facebook and chewing; playing Candy Crush and swallowing.
Research shows that in order to properly digest food, you need to be in a relaxed state, chew your food thoroughly, and sit for about 15 minutes before moving on to do anything else. Sounds daunting, right? But here’s a simple guide to get you started.
I’ve never been a planner. My least favorite job interview question is, “Where do you want to be in 5 years?” Because if I’m totally honest, I want to be sunbathing with my wife in the backyard of a house in Maui, drinking homemade Mai Tais and watching our kids frolic against the backdrop of a palm tree-lined seascape. Clichéd, yes, but once you try one of my Mai Tais, you’ll understand.
That’s not usually what the interviewer is getting at.
Even if I focus on a realistic career aspiration, I root around and mostly find that I’m not sure…