Footprints, the reboot
One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”
He whispered, “My precious child, sorry, I was getting nachos.”
“Wait what?” I asked the Lord.
“Nachos?”
“Yeah,” the Almighty said.
“I was seriously hungry and needed some sustenance.”
“Right,
but my Lord, I needed you.
And you’re telling me it was more important for you to obtain tortilla chips covered in cheese sauce?”
“My child,” said the Lord, audibly crunching.
“Not just cheese sauce. But also carne asada, sour cream, guacamole, jalapeños, olives—the works, you know?”
“I guess so,
but like, seriously, I needed you,
and you’re off getting a fucking snack?”
“Whoah, watch your tone,” said the Lord, getting noticeably more agitated.
“Have you ever had really good nachos? They’re worth it. Trust me, my child.”
“OK, I guess,” I responded.
“It’s just that it seems like my woes are more important than satisfying your munchies.”
“You know what?” answered the Almighty.
“I’m sensing a lack of gratitude here, and I don’t care for it.”
“OK, OK, sorry. Lordy.”
“What was that?!?!”
“I mean, I’m sorry. I appreciate your efforts,” I said.
“Just, like, whenever you’re done with your snack, please walk with me again, cool?”
“Totes, bro,” said the Giver of Life.
“Totes.”
